question about religion

britishbea
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question about religion Feb 20, 2015 9:59:07 GMT -5 usmichelle likes this

Post by britishbea on Feb 20, 2015 9:59:07 GMT -5

I wouldn't say im a religious person, but i also wouldn't say im an atheist i would say however that im confused.
I celebrate christmas, i have a cross tattoo on my foot and i have rosary beads on my computer at work, i want a church wedding and i want Malakai to be christened a Christian, like i am.
BUT
My OH doesn't agree with weddings or christenings, firstly he says there's no point getting Malakai christened because firstly we aren't religious, not religious in that we never go to church, we don't follow christian rules, and he also wants him to be able to choose for him self, which i respect.

about the church wedding, i wont say i will ONLY marry in a church, because if the place is right i will marry there, but a church wedding is important to me because i feel that IF there is a god, id like to be accepted in marriage from him, that's why i want Malakai christened, because if there is a god id like him to be open to him. Does that sound silly?

the reason i say im not religious is because i dont really believe the whole story of god being a creator of everything so really i dont know what im holding out for because if he didnt do that then what did ihe do? see what i mean when i say im confused lol

what are your views on this? Should i not marry in a church because i dont really believe, or do i make sense as to the reasons why i want to marry in a church?

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow For babies grow up we've learnt to our sorrow, So quiet down cobwebs Dust go to sleep I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep

a_muppet
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question about religion Feb 20, 2015 11:29:57 GMT -5 a_muppet likes this

Post by a_muppet on Feb 20, 2015 11:29:57 GMT -5

I am a devout athiest, I was married in a church, and if anyone really wants to know why, I tell them.

Registry offices are so soulless [pun intended] whereas a beautiful church will make a lovely photographic backdrop to a wedding or even a christening.

My daughter was christened in a church with the most beautiful wood carvings I have ever seen. It was particularly interesting as they had been carved by the great grandfather of one of my elderly patients. The church itself is older than America.

My ex was an apathetic christian, so he wanted to marry in a church, he wanted christenings and he even wanted a minister to come round and de-haunt our house.

I had no objections, so we did.

The guy coming round the house I thought was relatively harmless so I let it go. Truth is, had he read out the bible or a recipe for boiled eggs, it would have been equally significant to me, so why complain?

Last Edit: Feb 20, 2015 11:30:45 GMT -5 by a_muppet

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heatherly
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question about religion Feb 20, 2015 17:58:50 GMT -5

Post by heatherly on Feb 20, 2015 17:58:50 GMT -5

Well, to me it sounds like the reasoning behind your confusion is fear; fear that your marriage or child will not be accepted if there is a God and you don't do things his way. If that is the only thing that makes you want to marry in a church or christen your child, then you don't have to do it. That makes it more out of superstition than you actually wanting to do it. Go get married in a beautiful place that makes you happy, and yes, you might even find that to be a church (some churches are architecturally beautiful), but it does not have to be because of religious beliefs.

Last Edit: Feb 20, 2015 17:59:29 GMT -5 by heatherly

priscillams Premier Member Posts: 3,548	question about religion Feb 24, 2015 9:14:21 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by priscillams on Feb 24, 2015 9:14:21 GMT -5 Cherry God love you for your honesty. I like it too.

a_muppet Global Moderator Posts: 35,020	question about religion Feb 24, 2015 9:34:20 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by a_muppet on Feb 24, 2015 9:34:20 GMT -5 I don't remember pressing the "acherrystone likes this post" button. LOL But I know God loves us athiests, we keep him on his toes! If it were not for us, he would hardly bother getting out of bed in the morning.
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cassie
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question about religion Feb 25, 2015 1:43:38 GMT -5

Post by cassie on Feb 25, 2015 1:43:38 GMT -5

To me it sounds as if you are trying to cover all bases .. just in case!

To me thats the way religion works, its there to scare the living hell out of you so that you comply..

However I love Churches and Im very interested in religion. If it makes you happy go for it..But remember your OH has just as much right when it comes to your child as you do.Isnt there a comprimise in a naming ceremony or something? And old houses/buidings make great backdrops for weddings too. My son chose Edinburgh castle for his!

Last Edit: Feb 25, 2015 1:44:10 GMT -5 by cassie

britishbea
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question about religion Feb 25, 2015 7:04:32 GMT -5

Post by britishbea on Feb 25, 2015 7:04:32 GMT -5

I guess it all is just a case of 'just in case' id like to marry in a church to be accepted by God IF there is one, same as Malakai's christening.
I mentioned a naming ceremony because my friend had one for her little boy, shes religious in that she believes non christians go to hell. her boyf isnt, so they comprimised but my OH says its a waste of money as a naming ceremony doesnt mean anything i guess ive gotten to be okay with this now, ive kinda just gotten used to the idea that we can wait until hes old enough to decide for himself.
as for a wedding my OH doesnt really agree with them either, he says its just a ring and a peice of paper, yet so many people have more problems after marriage and we have enough before it, so there really is no point! again i guess ive kinda grown to that idea too and im fine with not getting married, being married isnt important to me, just something i would like i guess

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow For babies grow up we've learnt to our sorrow, So quiet down cobwebs Dust go to sleep I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep

a_muppet
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question about religion Feb 25, 2015 17:36:22 GMT -5

Post by a_muppet on Feb 25, 2015 17:36:22 GMT -5

Ceremonies are not important to me either, but I have been married and I have had my daughter christened.

I reckon I am going to burn anyway, so why not?

As an ex-catholic-come-athiest I am not looked upon very benevolently by the catholic god, and I know for a fact that he is the real one, coz a nun told me.

But anyway, the catholics don't like deserters. Heretics have a long history of suffering t their hands.

Weddings and christenings are as important as you make them. if you really want one, then tell him. If not, just tell that if the honeymoon is wort remembering, you won't mention marriage again.

More than one way to skin a cat..........

Caution, I am feral.

britishbea
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Kisses give her goosebumps, well that's cool I used to tutor braille

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question about religion Apr 22, 2015 7:14:23 GMT -5

Post by britishbea on Apr 22, 2015 7:14:23 GMT -5

i just thought id post on here, as i mentioned that i have rosary beads on my work computer.
someone came into the office and asked if im catholic, i said no, he asked if im christian, i said yes but im not religious. his reply was quite offended, he told me i shouldn't have the beads on my computer, why would i when im not religious, why would i when i don't 'respect' Christianity and i guess in a way he did have a point, how dare i have a cross tattoo and hang rosary beads when i, in a way, don't respect my religion. its a really tough one, maybe one day it will all hit me in the face and i will understand myself, let alone anything to do with religion

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow For babies grow up we've learnt to our sorrow, So quiet down cobwebs Dust go to sleep I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep

a_muppet Global Moderator Posts: 35,020	question about religion Apr 22, 2015 13:39:27 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by a_muppet on Apr 22, 2015 13:39:27 GMT -5 I would have replied, "They are just beads. If they were so magical, I would have turned into a catholic!"
	Caution, I am feral.

jengurl1987 Elite Member I Posts: 5,544	question about religion Apr 22, 2015 13:43:07 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by jengurl1987 on Apr 22, 2015 13:43:07 GMT -5 People are people and should be judged by what they have on the inside.

usmichelle
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question about religion May 15, 2015 5:16:57 GMT -5

Post by usmichelle on May 15, 2015 5:16:57 GMT -5

Feb 20, 2015 9:59:07 GMT -5 britishbea said:

I wouldn't say im a religious person, but i also wouldn't say im an atheist i would say however that im confused.
I celebrate christmas, i have a cross tattoo on my foot and i have rosary beads on my computer at work, i want a church wedding and i want Malakai to be christened a Christian, like i am.
BUT
My OH doesn't agree with weddings or christenings, firstly he says there's no point getting Malakai christened because firstly we aren't religious, not religious in that we never go to church, we don't follow christian rules, and he also wants him to be able to choose for him self, which i respect.

about the church wedding, i wont say i will ONLY marry in a church, because if the place is right i will marry there, but a church wedding is important to me because i feel that IF there is a god, id like to be accepted in marriage from him, that's why i want Malakai christened, because if there is a god id like him to be open to him. Does that sound silly?

the reason i say im not religious is because i dont really believe the whole story of god being a creator of everything so really i dont know what im holding out for because if he didnt do that then what did ihe do? see what i mean when i say im confused lol

what are your views on this? Should i not marry in a church because i dont really believe, or do i make sense as to the reasons why i want to marry in a church?

Callie, it really doesn't make that much difference what we here think.

This is more a very personal decision between you, your SO, and your beautiful children.

My example is my dad was raised Jewish and my mom Christian.

Neither were very serious.

So they decided to allow us to make our own decisions when we got older.

Baptism, a Christian labeling sacrament was not even a thought.

I can say I did more research about this than most of my fam of 1 bro and 4 sisters (1 adopted)

So, our parents did not contaminate us with their own beliefs.

We did go to church and temple just for the experience.

My dad's very best friend is a rabbi he has known since childhood.

He has never ever promoted Judaism, but has answered many questions for us.

They think these important decisions are better off left up to the individual.

Let's face it. Religion and faith are complicated.

I will do the same if and when I have kids.

I will respect their decisions, unless they choose some violent sect like Muslim ISIS

which really is not religious related in spite of what they say.

Peace!

britishbea
Honored Member

Kisses give her goosebumps, well that's cool I used to tutor braille

Posts: 996

question about religion May 15, 2015 7:31:17 GMT -5

Post by britishbea on May 15, 2015 7:31:17 GMT -5

I totally get what your saying, and i do agree that its a good idea to let M decide when hes older, but maybe im selfish, i think its just dawned on me i want M christened for my own reasons, not his, yes i would like him to be accepted by god (if there is one) which is for him, but i guess its more for me too!

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow For babies grow up we've learnt to our sorrow, So quiet down cobwebs Dust go to sleep I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep

usmichelle Prominent Member Read, Learn, Read it Again, Learn More Posts: 4,412	question about religion May 15, 2015 8:51:21 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by usmichelle on May 15, 2015 8:51:21 GMT -5 You should do what you and your SO agree on. I believe it is a critical decision.
	Peace!