Advice for a father with a daughter...

Let her make her own mistakes. For instance, with her appearance, her friends, her clothes, her shoes, but especially her own money.

Advise her once if you disagree, but don't push it. he best lessons are ones you learn for yourself.

Set the example of how a BF or husband should be. Its important.

My daughter had her first BF at 16 I didnt like him and I knew his father was abusive to both his first and second wife. But my daughter thought he was great.

He wouldnt come to our house she always had to go to his , he would never come in because he said we made him feel uncomfortable.. Little things but little red flags too so I was nice to him giving him no real chance to divide us.

But I didnt need to worry ..One evening he wanted to go to the cinema my daughter said ok but then he chose a silly film she didnt want to see so she suggested he go without her because she didnt like that film.
He flew into a rage and raised a hand to slap her. She struck back a fraction quicker and blacked his eye but then gathered her belongings and told him its over..
He was shocked and said but I didnt hit you..
She said ' no but you would have, my father has never raised a hand to my mother and I wont let any man do that to me.

End of him. But it was our example that gave her the courage to walk away to know that he wasn't worth it.

Dont just tell your children, show them what a decent man is like..

Just be there for her, support her... always try to be the type of person that your kids can be proud of, even if sometimes you fall short (we're all only human).

As others say, do your best to provide guidance, but let her make her own decisions... which sometimes means making mistakes.

A lot of young people try to defy their parents, so the more you tell them not to do something, the more they might try to

Thank you cassie, your daughter is protected and wise. I can't believe a guy would do that to a young women. It's insane to me. When you said to be a good example of a BF, I thought about when I hug my wife....my daughter recent told me....'don't hug mommy in front of me, it's gross' I hug mommy (my wife) when I come home, and when I leave for work, but she (my wife) doesn't want me to show any affection in front of the children whatsoever, I find this sad but I try to avoid hugging which makes me thing that I am not showing her (my daughter) a good example because I think a husband naturally would want to hug his wife, even if the children are there. I suspect some children will say "I never saw my parents show any affection" which to me is not right. I don't mean to say that parents should be all huggy kissy but naturally, I think, couple do these little couple things. Anyways. Thank you for your help. I hope my daughter will be strong and wise like yours is/was. I appreciate you.





















My daughted begged me for two days to watch an anime with her. I finally gave in and I'm glad I did. I really liked it. I don't think she will watching things I like, I don't know maybe she doesn't but I haven't noticed it yet. When she goes to the living room and turn on the YouTube, I watch what she does and I don't complain and say anything, well, let me correct myself, there is a few times, but I put my headphones and let her anyway. Rebecca Jo, I'm really sad that he didn't show up at the graduation ceremonies, that must of hurt, I know I would have been hurt and I don't remember my parents going to mine either. We try hard to make it to all the children's events. I know what your talking about 'chasing you'. I fear she will be grown up and not want to spend time with us anymore. Lastly, she has been asking me to dry her hair after her showers. I said "why" and my wife said "she is trying to spend time with you" and i said "oh, ok" and it's like a 10 minute ordeal but it's what I want to do because she's already 11 and growing up and I'm already gonna miss her. Now I am starting to know whey a father would cry at their daughter's wedding. Thank you for your advice. I will try to remember it.













heatherly, thank you for your advice. I think it's great advice. I want them to be proud of me and I want to be proud of them too. I remember defying my parents too and rebelling a lot too. oh so many stories.

It could be a cultural thing that some activities should happen only behind closed doors. You may be American, but your daughter gets her cues not only from her mom, but from the rest of her Japanese family and friends...and their parents.

Disclaimer: I've never had children, so speaking from my own relationship with my father.

The only thing I could add to all the other great advice already given is to teach her to be independent, self-reliant and self-sufficient. There's nothing wrong with pairing up with someone and relying on them to do their part in a relationship. However, if one is financially, emotionally, or otherwise dependent on someone else, it can open the gate for other kinds of abuse. That hampers self-esteem, making it hard to leave the abuser.

My father taught me a lot about fixing and maintaining things...how to mow the lawn, trim bushes/trees, change tires, brake shoes and pads, how to change the oil and windshield wipers, how to rotate and balance wheels...all things that he used to do. I just happened to marry a mechanic who did all that (and more), and I learned even more from my ex-husband as well. I still don't do all those things, but I know when some young hotshot mechanic is trying to pull the wool over my eyes.

Your daughter may not show an interest in all that, but she just might tag along with you when (if) you do such things, just to spend time with you.